October 2011
1 post
The argument for Autograt (automatic added 20...
Automatic gratuity has been a hot button topic in the service industry and on foodie (aka douchebag) blogs recently (Exhibit A http://ny.eater.com/tags/tipped-off)…recently I worked very briefly in a place that was so vehemently against auto gratting, they refused to even add the standard twenty percent to bottle service. So the waitress could sell 6 bottles to some jerk who could choose to...
August 2011
5 posts
Watchdirectorscuts:
Sometimes I miss having a roommate.
I want a little piggie friend
July 2011
3 posts
On gifts
Only accept them if you don’t need them. DO NOT EVER LET ANYONE PAY YOUR RENT, cause than they own you. Gifts are luxuries not accessories, that way if they try to leverage them you can say “Fuck you, I don’t need these shoes/plane tickets/dresses. You can have them back then.”
I have been given vacations, shoes, spa treatments, phones, shopping sprees and I’ve...
My weird crush on Eli Roth.
It’s not that weird. He’s brilliant…and hot and funny, and a weirdo…which I find intriguing and sexy, and just enough older than me to work out my Daddy issues, but not so much that it would be gross.
I’ve started following him on this thing…feeling mildly stalkerish. Don’t care.
June 2011
2 posts
On Sexual Harassment
The best time to work at a place is when the owner/management has been publicly accused of harassing their staff. They will be on their best behavior (on the advice of their lawyers) and leave you alone.
If the owner has a reputation in the industry for harassing his staff, but has never been formally or publicly accused, then he thinks he’s gotten away with it and will continue to do...
May 2011
2 posts
Craigslist open calls and Torture Porn
Perhaps I just think that this is a good idea cause I just lost my job and watched The Human Centipede…but currently I think it’s genius.
A serial killer posts an open call for cocktail waitresses on Craigslist. All these fresh faced young aspiring actress/model/waitresses who are new to the city show up and wait in line with their headshots and resumes and shiny hair. The serial...
Pride cometh before a fall...
Are pride and vanity interchangeable?
Either way, made the rookie mistake of getting my upper lip waxed (ethnic girl problems) before hitting the gym yesterday. Don’t do that. Ever. I was supposed to have multiple interviews today and I can’t go because it looks like I have a moustache rash and no one wants to buy overpriced vodka/sodas from a moustache rash.
In the ongoing...
April 2011
1 post
On the threshold of my ten year anniversary with...
It’s been a shitty week. For various undisclosed legal reasons my place of employment suddenly ceased to exist…and other stuff…bla bla bla. I moved here before I was legally old enough to buy cigarettes or porn. In this city I have been deliriously happy, and rock bottom miserable, balling and broke, drunk and high as a kite and stone cold sober, I’ve cheated, been...
March 2011
1 post
Career pancake flattener
I’m playing phone tag with my lit agent. I feel like I can’t move forward without some editorial guidance at this point. When I’m not writing it feels like I’ve been reduced to “just a bartender,” and now that I’m closer to thirty than I am to twenty that doesn’t feel like enough for me. I’m scared that’s all I’ll ever be. This...
February 2011
5 posts
"The Professional Partier" Or "I'm friends...
People seem to get off on exclusivity, or at least the illusion of it. In my previous life I was at dinner with a client at one of those restaurants above a club, and we were going to the club downstairs (so I could make him buy a bottle and get commission). He refused to go unless he could go through the back VIP entrance. He kept insisting adamantly that he was VIP, and thus he would only use...
salmakhan asked: Hey! I hope you're doing well! I wish you would write some more, I love your blog!!
December 2010
1 post
November 2010
1 post
October 2010
3 posts
PS
I only know this cause someone left an US Weekly on the table at Whole Foods while I was trying to eat my brown rice sushi in peace…I don’t read that trash, I swear.
More bottle hookers in the news.
So Jasmine Ward is apparently a chronic star fucker/LA bottle hooker who slept with David Arquette while he was separated from Courtney Cox then went public with it.
Shocker.
A smart bottle hooker would practice discretion, however this girl seems to think that appearing to be a Hollywood homewrecker is her ticket to fame and stardom. Apparently, she was also fired from her recent nightclub job...
July 2010
2 posts
fridayforever asked: hi, i read an article about you in The Age! I can't believe you have a tumblr :) ... that's all. xx
June 2010
1 post
I know I never update this thing.
I suck.
Working on the other thing.
The other night we were short a waitress at work, and over staffed on bartenders so I had to do the floor. Sober. Bottle hooking sans any sort of numbing agent. Ugh. It was a very fist pump Jersey Shore sort of night. As far as the eye could see meathead guidos were taking their shirts off…and they were sweaty, so sweaty. Shoving past them on the...
May 2010
1 post
Also?!
marianlorraine:
I am sorry, but being in AA IS like being in a dive bar without darts and without booze. No offense. It’s the truth.
Really? cause I’m in AA. And it is nothing like that. First off, people in dive bars are way fatter. Frankly, I don’t know how you could declare some universal truth about something so large. There are 1,000 meetings a day in New York City alone. ...
April 2010
9 posts
Argh
I need to get a digital camera and upload pictures of my shoes on this thing so I don’t feel guilty for not writing on it. To be fair, I was out of town on vacation and can only get on this thing via my own laptop…cause I forgot the log in and password. Whatever, I was more than likely drunk when I set this thing up. What do you want from me? I’d try and figure out how to...
Meetings meetings meetings
Very important people. Talking very important business.
Any excuse to wear my Louboutins.
Question, before this whole craziness happened I read a few blogs (collegecallgirl, cafeconlesley, gawker, jezebel, OneDataTime, everythingisannoying), but now I feel this weird compulsion to pick someone who has started following this thing and nose around their stuff…anyway, I see people writing...
Thank you
Tracy Quan, Tracy Egan, Melissa Gira, Annie Sprinkle, Penny Arcade, Zoe Hansen, Viva Ruiz, Jo “Boobs” Weldon, Heather Rabbit Liteer, Chi Chi Valente…and anyone else that I forgot. You are all my heroes.
Sorry if I spelled any names wrong.
Talking Sex Work at Jezebel →
melissa:
I did an interview (from bed and between workshops at CLPP this weekend) for Jezebel. What I wish I had the time to go and reply to every commenter is:
The cool thing about this moment politically is that we don’t ever actually need to debate, as feminists, whether or not sex work is a good thing or bad thing. We can stop that. If we want to keep people from going into sex work (which...
oh hi
I’d kind of stopped writing on this thing regularly before the infamous article came out. Been trying to focus on something more long form and cohesive and narrative, sort of…insert other collegiate buzz word here. I had never really promoted it, half of my (very few) followers were my friends anyway. Now that is no longer the case. So, hello, nice to meet you all, kind of, on the...
Uncle Steve
I know it’s 3:30 am. I just got home from work. This is an early night. So more on New York Magazine. Steve Lewis wrote a great response. It is here http://www.blackbookmag.com/article/talk-is-cheap/17717
I also really liked what Lisa had to say
“It’s easy to denigrate the bottle waitress. It’s easy to be high-horsed about anything that’s less 9 to 5 than what...
Anticlimactic
I was kind of scared for the New York Magazine article to come out. I didn’t know how things would be angled. Overall I’m fine with it. Of course it doesn’t tell the whole story, but that would take hundreds of pages, and they wouldn’t be able to sell advertising for Model Quality Introductions in the back. Lisa was lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed our interviews. The...
NYMag
yes i know.
yes i was misquoted some.
but whatever. Close enough.
February 2010
3 posts
Sacrificial lambs
I hate to portray myself as a victim in all of this. I knew what I was getting into, to a degree, and I definitely profitted off my manipulations, not only of clients but of other girls. When I didn’t want to deal with them, or they were getting more insistent I could easily find more willing, or more naive girls, ply them with booze and drugs, and toss them to the wolves. One time I had...
Bah
My therapist says I should write every day.
HAHAHA. I have a therapist. Weird.
I’ve actually had several, this is the first one that I haven’t lied to.
The first one was when I was eight, I don’t remember much cept he had a beard and I got to draw. Maybe he molested me or something… I do have a thing for beards. Things to ponder.
Recently I was at Veselka (all night...
Remembering bad times
Awhile back I was working and I met a boy, and I started breaking all my rules. I let him come visit me at work, I kissed him in front of clients, letting them all know that I was unavailable to them. I got distracted and took my mind off my money, for a minute. I was still hustling. So one Friday night the promoters did a really SHIT job. I had never seen a worse crowd in there. Total...
January 2010
1 post
Old Bottle Hookers don't die...they get married
Or go behind the bar.
I’m not a tropy wife. Yet. So I’m bartending. Until I meet the BlaMex of my dreams. Kidding. Mostly.
I like bartending because I have a big wooden wall between me and customers. I don’t like it cause beers don’t cost 500 dollars with an automatic twenty percent gratuity added on, but mostly I like it. I’m still surrounded by house music and...
November 2009
1 post
Helloween
Vaguely out of retirement…sort of. Coat checking. No booze, no clients, no bounced paychecks with credit card tips, no staff meetings, no retarded uniforms, cash in hand. Overall not bad. I’m working at an uncool place, in an uncool neighborhood, with really cool staff. So all the old drug dealers/pimps/whores/promoters/models/nightlife nightmares don’t know where to find...
August 2009
4 posts
So I've been remiss...
on writing on this thing. Fuck you. I’m three weeks sober. What do you want from me? Funny moment at a meeting the other day. Recently I discovered an old work friend of mine is in “the rooms” too. Yes, that is what AA is called. It is all sorts of secret catch phrases. I was delighted to see her there. Frankly, it is kind of surprising I don’t know more girls from...
Day 7
7 meetings.
1 therapy session.
4 rehearsals.
3 gym sessions.
5,000 cups of coffee.
62 fights with my parents.
1 making my best friend cry.
0 drinks, 0 lines.
I’m not even gonna try and count the cigarettes.
Long story short,
Here’s what happened, I start the new job a few weeks back. I book a client, I’m doing ok…but Im the new girl, and I’m getting new girl hazed, plus I’m competing with a good friend of mine to be on the schedule, cause every waitress in this town knows every other waitress. It sucks. They schedule me. I win….I guess, kind of. So I work, it goes ok, no one...
So new direction...
I got fired from the bottle hooker job that I had always wanted for being the most coked up fuck up in the biggest coke den in NYC. Long story short, I’m in AA now. I’m retired.
Just typed up the entire story of my exit from bottle hookerdom, then tumblr fucking erased it. Now Im bored and I’ve been attending meetings for days and Im sick of my story, so will post it later. ...
June 2009
4 posts
Drawbacks of the Brunch party phenomenon
It is a bad enough to be going to work around 8 PM in all your bottle hooker finery, the looks one gets on the L train from bitches in librarian glasses and chuck taylors are pure murder, HOWEVER even worse is heading to work in your skintight American Apparel dress, 4 inch heels and full make up at 10:30 AM, I ran to my corner shop to get my iced coffee and the barista I see every day burst out...
Dear Ex boyfriend
Just about how many bloggers did you cheat on me with?
Really?
And then add on all those girls you picked up while you were bartending/and or working the door?
Weren’t the club hos enough? You really had to go on the internet and find Brooklyn bloggers to cheat on me with as well?
Gross.
Though I might’ve texted you last night when I was leaving 1oak around 4. I WAS REALLY DRUNK...
Awkward is...
Having to serve food to the owner’s table when you haven’t served food in about three years, and proceeding to spill oyster water when clearing plates…
Having to explain to a promoter and his crew that the owner took one look at them and said they weren’t getting a comped dinner cause he didn’t like the look of their crowd…
Having to get security to get a...